I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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