Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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