and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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