I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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