My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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