im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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