You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
