I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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