Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I forget how to act sober
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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