He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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