and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize