is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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