I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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