found the other keg... it's in the tree
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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