I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize