Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
