living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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