At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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