you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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