Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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