I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize