so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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