I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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