Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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