Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
