That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
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I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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