do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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