32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize