I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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