She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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