I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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