I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize