Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
