I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize
