So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize