I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
