I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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