i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
