I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
