Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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