Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
