Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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