I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish I only lived at night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
