And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
