Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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