he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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