You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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