but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
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I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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