i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize