i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
